We -- those with names like: "Joe, Tom, Dick (a.k.a. Richard) and Harry" are all there ... Homeland Security's "No-Fly" List!

A profile of America's "no-fly" list --- strip searches and the such ... all thanks to our fabulous Homeland Security Department

Most of you are aware that 60 Minutes did an expose on the heretofore almost unknown "no-fly list" it keeps to thwart terrorists at airline boarding lines and elsewhere both inside and outside of America's borders (the ones we are walling off).

As expected, Osama bin Laden (also Usama bin Laden and Osama Laden) is on the list -- as if he would fly commercially ... as well as at least 14 of the 19 terrorists who "died" on 9/11 crashing airplanes into US buildings. The latter were unexpected list makers, of course.

But of interest to the "Joe Ryans" and "Tom Jones" and "Richard Johnsons" was the inclusion of just about every common name in the books. If you have a baby, name him or her "Salaphicatonimus" or "Jehasofattygirl." And whatever you do, change your last name from "Harris" or "Jones" to "Zartiestohokia."

Even Evo Morales (with correct birthdate -- one of the few with a birthdate!) who just happens to be the President of Bolivia made the list. Watch for oil prices to go up this week. Oh yes, Saddam Hussein is on the list. (Do they know something we don't?)

All told, there are 44,000 names on the list ... and (horror of horrors) there's a backup list! Most have no additional information on the list so every Richard Johnson (black, white, Arab, oriental, etc.) with that name is a suspect. Don't wear a belt on your pants when flying!

We are all familiar with the Canadian, Maher Ahar, who was on the "Watch list" (as it was called back then) and then was held -- and tortured -- for a year or so before the officials realized they had the "wrong Maher Ahar."

If Bush is right and the terrorists are after us because we had too much liberty or freedom, I'd say they won the War on Terror.

What do you think?