Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern finally has a daddy ... now ... who the heck is Larry Birkhead?

DNA tests apparently have shown Anna Nicole Smith's former boyfriend Larry Birkhead (the kooky-looking guy on the left) is the father of her baby. Whoopie! The deaths in Iraq continue to climb, Congress continues to paw away at Alberto Gonzales and Iranians are ... doing what? Building nuclear bombs?

But hey ... let's get focused! The news of the day is embodied in Larry Birkhead's statement, "My baby's going to be coming home pretty soon."

And oh yes, one other thing worth cheering about--J. Howard Marshall II! Okay, so he's been dead for more than ten years--but baby Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern (soon to have added to her name "Birkhead") is likely to receive a healthy chunk of the half billion dollar fortune that has been up for grabs since J. Howard Marshall II's death in 1995. Her mom (a Playboy Bunny who's been dead for a few weeks, I think) married well a few years back.

Now aren't you glad that you now know that important news of the day? Or would you rather I follow the lead of just about every talking head today and concentrate on something Imus said about some African American female college basketball players?

Who's Imus?